A Lark Dies At The End Of The Day

I lost the love of my life last November 3 (Sydney time)/November 2 (Manila time) . That's enough reason to be so filled with hatred. I feel so destructive. I want to drown myself in vice. I want to strip myself of all that is him so I can forget, even for a moment. Why did God take him so soon?

I wake every morning to the sound of my heart breaking. I go to sleep every night tracing the liquid footsteps of my tears. I don't want to feel. I want this to end. I am told it takes time. Time is something I did not have 47 days ago as I was rushing to be by his side, now suddenly I have all the time in the world to hurt. An eternity of walking around with half a heart, half a life.

I'm so tired God, why does it seem like life will not let me be until I am so broken beyond function.

I miss you Clancy. I'm so in love with you. I feel so lost right now, I don't know what to do for the next 40 years. I cannot wait for it to pass by quickly so I can be with you again.

And another tear falls upon this deaf world.