Father's Day Twice Over
My Life,
Happy Father's Day. I remember how we would always laugh whenever I greeted you each year on the day the world would celebrate it because Australia would celebrate it some different day. I also remember how I would say that you deserve to be greeted twice in a year because you are such a good man, such a good father.
I've told you many times before and I want to tell you again -- I couldn't have chosen a better man to be the father of our girls. Because of you I realized that parenthood isn't about DNA, it's about the love and care you willingly give a child, it's the responsibility you willingly accept for a child's life. Someday when Sabrina is older, she will understand it too. You are the only father she has ever known.
The girls miss you everyday just like I do. Sabrina was just telling me last night how she misses you picking her up from school and that now she has moved to a school closer to home that it would be so nice and easier for you to walk her everyday. She was so proud of you darling, she was so proud to show you off to everyone, she was so proud to call you Daddy.
Nicole misses the good cop too. She was telling me how she missed your convys, how you were always interested in her hobbies, in her music. She realizes that you were more a father to her than her biological father ever was and that she was sorry for resisting the idea of you in our lives years ago. I think she secretly regrets never calling you "dad."
I don't know what good I might have done in some previous life to deserve a man like you but I thank the universe for the gift of you. And I thank you for loving my girls as if they were your own. Thank you for wanting to give them a future. Thank you for making them part of your dreams.
Happy Father's Day Bidong. We love you. Know that your presence is greatly missed.
-L-
x x x x x
Here's a card we sent you one Father's Day ... with it were fervent wishes that the girls and I would be able to spend it with you in person someday. Now, that someday will never happen.
Happy Father's Day. I remember how we would always laugh whenever I greeted you each year on the day the world would celebrate it because Australia would celebrate it some different day. I also remember how I would say that you deserve to be greeted twice in a year because you are such a good man, such a good father.
I've told you many times before and I want to tell you again -- I couldn't have chosen a better man to be the father of our girls. Because of you I realized that parenthood isn't about DNA, it's about the love and care you willingly give a child, it's the responsibility you willingly accept for a child's life. Someday when Sabrina is older, she will understand it too. You are the only father she has ever known.
The girls miss you everyday just like I do. Sabrina was just telling me last night how she misses you picking her up from school and that now she has moved to a school closer to home that it would be so nice and easier for you to walk her everyday. She was so proud of you darling, she was so proud to show you off to everyone, she was so proud to call you Daddy.
Nicole misses the good cop too. She was telling me how she missed your convys, how you were always interested in her hobbies, in her music. She realizes that you were more a father to her than her biological father ever was and that she was sorry for resisting the idea of you in our lives years ago. I think she secretly regrets never calling you "dad."
I don't know what good I might have done in some previous life to deserve a man like you but I thank the universe for the gift of you. And I thank you for loving my girls as if they were your own. Thank you for wanting to give them a future. Thank you for making them part of your dreams.
Happy Father's Day Bidong. We love you. Know that your presence is greatly missed.
-L-
x x x x x
Here's a card we sent you one Father's Day ... with it were fervent wishes that the girls and I would be able to spend it with you in person someday. Now, that someday will never happen.
posted by The Lover at 7:42 PM
3 Comments:
You probobly don't know who I am, but I just happened to be blog-hopping and landed on your site. Reading ur letter I can tell that you've suffered quite a great loss. But then again, I am not quite sure if I have any right to say this but.. here goes..
Sometimes God lets the most tragic things to happen to our lives, for reasons only he knows. But in my opinion, God wants to let u know that He (God) lives.. He loves u, he always had.. he loves u today and he'll love u tomorrow. Even when u drown in your tears every night. God wants to share his shoulder to you to let u know that it'll be okay.. Just trust him.
P/s - this may sound cheesy but - trust me on this one. It worked for me. :)
Dear Anonymous,
Yes I don't know who you are but I wish I did, for whoever leaves kind words in this blog deserve a proper thank you. I've had a love-hate relationship with God over the last year and despite the angry phase I went through, I never doubted His goodness or His love even if I don't understand His ways most of the time. I know there is nothing I can do but embrace this and accept it ... however it does not mean it hurts any less. Right now I just want some peace, some truce ... I feel so battered and weary from having to deal with how our lives have changed, have had to change with Clancy gone. It's not just me that is hurting, our children are greatly affected as well. And on some days I feel like it is all too much for anyone to carry without being broken beyond repair. I cannot be broken.
Again, thank you for your words of encouragement, they are timely reminders.
I am so sorry for your loss. Be strong, your girls are still with you.
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